There was a time when the portmanteau term “cumshot” wasn’t a fixture in the English lexicon.
Before mass media forms made us intrinsically self-aware of our appearances and physical prowesses, it’s doubtful the male climax carried the visual wallop it does now. More likely it was internalized — regardless of the sexual pairing — and not subject to the self-direction and theatricality that it is now.
Porn forever changed how we have sex. Thanks to the visual medium of sex, we’re aware of how to frame, position, and pace the act. Certainly the bulk of our sexual fantasies are staged just like fuck flicks, with awkward transitions edited out and big finishes lensed at ideal angles in the porn shoots of our minds. That’s not necessarily wholly bad or good; it could be argued that porn has created unrealistic expectations and a glut of camera-fetishizing narcissists, but I can say it helped me figure out exactly what I want, who I want if from, and how I want it.
It’s not enough to just hit the mark anymore — you have to time the big finish, choose what body part you want to land it on, and really deliver a gusher of a crescendo. The element of performance — of offering a bravura turn — now preoccupies us. I remember seeing a stand-up act on TV in which a comedian related how everyone in L.A. was an aspiring star; when he stopped at a gas station, even the attendant told him he was an actor, and he knew exactly what sort when he finished pumping, pulled out of the tank, and proceeded to spray all over the windshield.
The money shot is so centralized in porn — it can be faked and often is, with hetero porn now making the effect ridiculously cartoonish, and I have to admit that female ejaculation is freakin’ incredible to behold — and because of that import, pretty much every man secretly wants to increase his volume to epic proportions.
Even though fertility isn’t an issue for us on the magnitude that it is for hets, I suspect that there’s still some mental linkage on our part between quantity of ejaculate and the ability to effectively father progeny; even in strictly corporeal terms, the greater the quantity, the more protracted the contraction of the muscles that propel it, and that’s a good thing.
So realistically, are there any effective measures you can take to boost your output, or is Nature the greatest constraint that can’t be overridden?
The Lovin’ Spoonful
Here’s the thing: we all want to erupt like it’s the last day of Pompei, but porn basically selects genetic sore thumbs and passes them off as a norm. Your typical male is going to produce one to two teaspoons of man batter, with slight variations occurring thanks to diet, age, general fitness level, and hereditary design. Naturally-occurring amino acids are posited to help increase output to a reasonable degree, but the effect is usually a higher sperm count than an augmentation in your gentleman’s relish.
Most people are regularly dehydrated, so a regular influx of fluids combined with a steady regimen of physical activity can help, and certain nutrients like L-arginine, L-lysine, zinc, lycopene, and lecithin (which in particular will help increase clear liquid volume in your pop shot) found in the fatty tissue of animals and plants can give you a leg up. Leafy vegetables, nuts, fish, turkey, spinach, tomatoes, and almonds are good sources, and if you’re a vegetarian or vegan, that gives you some alternative options. However, if you’re a hot slut who’s already in-shape, not hopped up on caffeine, has a healthy blood pressure, and aren’t partying yourself into the ground, you’re probably at the peak of your prowess and don’t need to take any further measures whose effects are likely to be minimal for you anyway.
Sound of Thunder, But The Rain Don’t Cum
Commonly referred to as Edging, Injaculation is a natural, painless, and cost-free way to up your flow when the dam finally breaks. I can personally attest that this works. It’s all about delaying orgasm by controlling your muscle contractions when you’re near to topping off; this will result in a series of “dry” or “mini” climaxes (I’ve gone as high as twenty to thirty depending on duration) in which you get the feeling of blasting off without actually letting loose. As you delay, the amount of your load increases to maximum capacity, building and building until you release in a heaving torrent.
How do you do it? Simple: the Stop/Start Method. The pelvic muscles you use to urinate are the same ones you use to ejaculate. When you urinate, focus on halting and releasing your urine stream multiple times. After a month you’ll start noticing changes in the intensity and volume of your man cream tsunamis. It’s much easier to fine-tune your system when you’re not in the act rather than worrying about it while you’re in the heat of the moment. This will benefit you across the board. I can essentially time my climax down to the second, stave it off at will, and my refractory period has lowered, meaning I’m ready to come back for more at a faster rate. Best of all, once you’ve mastered the technique, it becomes automatic and you don’t have to preoccupy yourself with thinking about it ever again.
Spare The Rod
We all know that porn stars will save it up in order to really release the Kraken when they’re on film, and holding back works just as well for us amateurs. Volume and intensity will augment from storing up the population paste. There’s no hard and fast rule as to how much you’ll benefit from giving it a rest, but if your goal is to super soak your special someone and really make an impression, it’ll help.
Propulsion can often be just as visually and psychologically satisfying as the quantity of your payload, and being able to bullseye a dartboard from across the room never fails to impress. It’s a common method employed for couples with fertility problems because ideally it results in a higher sperm count as well. Dick doctors claim that if you lay off for two to three days, it’s just as effective as doing it for a week, but again, every man is different, and I can personally say some down time works wonders for me. After a week, I’m shooting myself in the face; after two weeks, I have to shower afterward because I look like I got bukkaked by a construction crew and put away wet.
The Drugs Don’t Work
There is no miracle pill that can enlarge your dick, and no, I can’t believe the countless brands of semen enhancement products will augment your money shot and intensify your orgasm either. Nutritional supplements of all varieties tend toward being useless bunk, and volume pills are at best likely to contain the same vitamins you can derive from food, so you end up paying anywhere from forty-five to three hundred bucks for mail order supplements like Semanex, Vimax, and Maxocum (!), which is a waste. The fact that the human body can’t even process much less even need the massive amounts of vitamins flooding the market means the incredible ingredients contained within these volumizers will be shooting out of your dick all right, as in right into the toilet when you urinate.
Cumshot King Peter North is certainly the gold standard in nut busting, long been surmised to employ something that makes him spray like an alley cat. He’s shilled for an array of enhancers that are purported to be the secret of his success and will kick up your money shot by five hundred percent, but any product endorsed by porn stars or douchebags crowing about becoming bitch magnets should have you giving it the side eye.
Just the manner in which these jizz pills are marketed is enough to put you off; ads featuring blonde chicks panting in front of a guy’s groin, boxes exclaiming “Contains Pure Horny Goat Weed Leaf!,” and winning slogans like “Engulf Her With Semen!” had me laughing out loud during my research for this piece, and damn if I could find a single one that wasn’t aimed exclusively to a straight demographic. Virtually every scam ad disguised as a medical review for these all-natural, doctor-approved placebos reads like it was written by a horned-up eighth grader. “You’ll blow the BIGGEST load of cum she’s ever seen as you shoot wave after wave of semen!”
Fuckin’ A! Now I too can satisfy all the nympho cum sluts in my life — like a real stud should!